Sacrifice

Sacrifice. What does that mean to you? What are you willing to sacrifice? For family, friends, work, love, money? Your health, well-being, friends, family, sanity? For one reason or another, this has been weighing on my mind. I’ve been thinking a lot about what matters. Deciding what is more important in the long run. What will be left, if I turn my back on one area for awhile? Can I ever go back?

Things in my life have been changing a lot this last while. My eyes have been opened regarding certain aspects. I’ve been forced to start thinking, contemplating, what matters most. I have to decide what I’m willing to sacrifice for different things in my life. Everything is starting to become more and more clear. Am I willing to sacrifice the distance from my family for work? Am I willing to sacrifice my sanity in order to keep the one big loss private, from the one it affects the most? Am I willing to sacrifice my health in order to make just a little more money, by working crazy hours? What would I be willing to sacrifice for love? What would I be willing to sacrifice to achieve all the wealth I desire?

In the end…does this matter? Is it really in my hands? Do I really get to make this decision? Or do others make it for me? If I let it go, will it come back to me?

Sacrifice. It is a strange thing. Some people do this everyday. Some hold fast and are not willing to. I am. And I’m starting to understand more and more what I am willing to do for certain things or people. Certain aspects of my life. What I will give up, what I will change, and what is, to me, unchangeable. Most things aren’t unchangeable I’ve found though, given time.

What is important to you? What are you willing to sacrifice?

Friday...

Can you smell it? Friday...it's almost here! :)

Aeropalmics (ayr o palm' iks) - n. The study of wind resistance conducted by holding a cupped hand out the car window

I plan on doing this a lot next weekend - Saturday and Sunday baby! Here is to aeropalmics!!!

5 DAYS 21 HOURS!

My day

Today was a long day! I have this crazy headache that I can't seem to shake...hoping that I can get it to go away without it turning into a migraine and worse! So this is going to short and sweet:)

The saving grace was that I got a bunch of CD's for free today from work (it was like a mini Christmas for me!)...and so far - they are all winners. Some I knew, some are new...they are all looking good though! Will have to spend a little more time listening when my heart is really in it. Some new bands I've never heard of so this could be awesome!

I'm off to find some food so I can take some more drugs...hopefully I can get my hands to stop shaking too. This is so frustrating. GRRRR!

Word of the day:
ACCORDIONATED (ah kor' de on ay tid) - adj. Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time.

I'm not really good at this so thank goodness I have my navigator/PIC Shannon!!

8 DAYS and 23 HOURS!!!!

Friday night

Well this evening after a long day at work I was able to go and see Blue Man Group. Fabulous show! Went with three friends and we had a great time! Dinner at Spring Roll to begin (YUM!), followed by the show and coffee to close out a fabulous evening. Lots of laughs, a good time had by all.

The show was awesome! I honestly had no idea what to expect but I thoroughly enjoyed myself! Audience participation, fantastic music and the subtle looks between the three blue men were excellent - so funny! You could understand every thought and feeling they were expressing, from amusement, frustration and embarrassment. The final song in the show by KLF is a lot of fun - you can't help but groove just a little...along with everyone else there, young and old. Maybe even try out one of the six basic moves for a rock concert that BMG taught us. If you get a chance to see it, definitely go! You may have to take a short trip to Toronto to do so, but I think it's worth it. And then you can visit me too! ;)

Hope you all have a great weekend!

Last night...

This is what I went to sleep with last night. Fabulous view! And what a great night...thanks again!

Photo: cfolkes

Work...

Sitting here at work, editing a hundred and some page document, listening to…yes! You guessed it! James Blunt. I can’t help but remember the concert last night. It was magical. It really was. I wish I could do a replay of last night! :)

Concert #3!!

Well...this one rocked!!! The opener was a very good, very funny band called the boy least likely to. They were great! A great opener, got the crowd going with their funny antics and crazy songs, like fur soft as fur and grubby little memory. They had a great stage presence already at this point. A great start to a very potential career I would say!

Now James. James Blunt. This was an amazing concert. It's been a long time since I've seen someone quite like him. His presence is strong. You can tell he loves to perform and that he sings from the heart. He really does. There is something to be said about a performer that can step away from the band and all the instruments, and sit down behind a piano and sing. Sing to us, sing to those he wrote the song about, sing in the raw, sing - while hearing that he is truly losing his voice, sing his heart out. Pure emotion at times. He sang a new song, something that I truly hope will be on the next album. You have to hear it. It brought tears to my eyes, shivers down my spine, and made me think. He is a true performer. This is what he was made to do I think. He is beautiful. You're Beautiful is his single (and a great one at that), but have you heard No Bravery. No? Do it. Get it. Listen to it.

I have to go to bed now. So good. What a great night! Phenomenal. I highly recommend going to see him if you get the chance!

My weekend

Had a great weekend away! Went to visit my long time friend Julia up at her house for the weekend. Took a one hour train trip followed by an hour drive – but it was soooo worth it! We had a great time. We did a little cooking (mostly Julia but I did do what she told me to do), drove me around some of the towns in the surrounding area, did a little shopping, reminisced about NYB ’98 and 2000, watched videos, searched for previous band mates on Google late Saturday night, stumbled our way down a frozen road goofing off and taking pictures of what we saw, played few songs together with a clarinet, tenor and soprano sax combination of sorts (laughing about the fact that we were once considered to be the two best bass clarinet players in Canada and were struggling with a couple of grade 7 pieces – although neither of us have played in quite some time), and most importantly did a lot of catching up!

We have been friends for about 8 years now and have spent about 98% of that keeping in touch long distance, since we lived on opposite ends of the country until just recently. We were talking about how strange it is that we are so close, yet have spent so little time together – and having met in such a unique circumstance. Sometimes it’s just meant to be.

Thanks for the great weekend Julia. I can’t wait to do it again soon after the weather has warmed up a little!

Photo: jbrandick

Trains

I love train trips!!

That is all for now.

:)

Small news for the day

So some good news and some sad news.

Good - I had a massage after work today and wow!!! It was phenomenal! Jugraj is a miracle worker. It's been a long time since I've felt like this.

Sad - a new friend of mine has just been hired on for the summer out of province. Great news, it is so great for them! I'm sure we'll keep in touch over the summer though which I do look forward to. Congrats to you (I think you know who you are)!!

Now as for everything else that is going on...not too much, looking forward to the weekend away coming up. Thank goodness for that! Next week is going to be a busy week coming up so the time away is going to be a blast!

Picture - another one from the bro and sis venture!

Word of the day:
10. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.

Photo: jbrandick

Today...

Today I hate freezing wind, rude people on the subway and most of all - pantyhose! BLAH!!! However - here is to a great song that came on my iPod this morning (so I could drown out the rudeness on the subway). Yup - you guessed it! To the chagrin of some (mostly Shannon) my theme song is back with a vengeance and I am happy to say that was the song that started off my day! YAY!

Word of the day:
8. PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

Considering what it is that I do everyday - this happens to me far too often:)

I can relate...

In the words of Howard Jones...

You can look at the menu but you just can’t eat
You can feel the cushions but you can’t have a seat
You can dip your foot in the pool but you can’t have a swim
You can feel the punishment but you can’t commit the sin
You can build a mansion but you just can’t live in it
You’re the fastest runner but you’re not allowed to win
Some break the rules and live to count the cost
The insecurity is the thing that won’t get lost
You can see the summit but you can’t reach it
It’s the last piece of the puzzle but you just can’t make it fit
Doctor says you’re cured but you still feel the pain
Aspirations in the clouds but your hopes go down the drain

The Concert!

Well the trip was great! Starting with great border crossing guards. On the way there, they asked where we were going and why. Jalal responded to Rochester for the NIN concert, and the guard snapped our passports shut and said “Well enjoy the concert.” We were on our way! Found our hotel, got a bite to eat at a pub/tavern near by, and then to the concert! Awesome!! Totally worth the trip and was a two hour escape from life as I know it. We were about 20 feet from the stage and could see all the comings and goings of the crew and had great views of Trent and company as well!! Closer, Terrible Lie, Head Like A Hole, Hurt (seriously gave me shivers!) were phenomenal, they all were!

As usual – I had my token friend. Someone who talks away to me, a perfect stranger. She stood next to me at the concert and told me all about the newest addition to NIN – the guitarist. He is amazing she said – the best she has ever heard, sooooo brooding and beautiful, and much to her dismay was standing on the other side of the stage. Later she leaned over and said “Can you smell that? I need that, where can I get that, they need to blow more smoke our direction!" – pot of course. And finally, the comment that made me laugh. She leaned over one last time and said “I was your token drunk girl at this concert” while grinning! LMAO!

Jalal later made his friend at the hotel when someone knocked on the door at about midnight looking to make change because the vending machine outside our door wouldn’t take his dollar bill. Sadly we couldn’t help him, but he noticed Jalal’s shirt and proceeded to talk about NIN for about 10 minutes.

Today we headed back downtown and wandered the streets for a bit. Stopped at Spot Coffee for a coffee, and then to Dinosaur BBQ (thanks for the suggestion Luke!) for a great lunch. Then back to Toronto. Our border guard on the way back found out why we were gone and asked how the concert was and after finding out where we sat said "That would have been awesome!" and sent us on our way! :)

Great trip, much needed getaway with a good friend as well as a good sounding board, being that the trip was hard in one respect. Thanks Jalal! (SEE! Can you hear the beep?)

I can't wait!

I am SOOOOOOOOOOO super excited about tomorrow!! You have no idea...I have been waiting for an opportunity to see NIN for years! And now here it is. A friend of mine and I are heading down to Rochester for the concert. I have heard only good things about this tour so here is hoping. Saul Williams is opening with spoken word poetry...should be very interesting.

We still have to find a hotel when we get there (will check the one suggested to us though), and find something to eat (again will check out the suggestion) and then...NIN! Absolutely nothing is planned except the concert. I love it! Just head down and figure things out as we go! I really don't think I'm going to get a lot of sleep tonight...

Here is something I've often wondered...something I thought about while in the subway again today. Why is it that the escalators there, as well as pretty much every where else, have the hand rails and steps run at slightly different speeds? I know they both run on seperate motors...but you would think that they would be able to somehow get the two to work at the same speed and slowly start to slow down at the same rate. With everything else we can do today - this doesn't seem to be possible. Odd.

Timmy's count: bought 6, won 4!! :)

Also a little tidbit of information about me - I seem to be a SLIder...something I recently found out about. Not as strong as some...but I do experience it. Weird.

Word of the day:
7. PEPPIER (peph ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want fresh ground pepper.

Blink

This is something I totally forgot about and came across earlier this evening. Something I wrote. A friend of mine then took my writing and interpreted into this...writing with drawing. I personally love what he did with it and would love to work with him a little more...maybe someday:)

6. LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the 'illegal' side.

Coffee, concert, words and stuff

Alrighty...

Coffee count. Bought four...won three!!! YAY!


Concert. Three more days!!! Thursday night - I can't wait!

I made it through this afternoon - now I get to play the waiting game. I hope I hear soon because this is a game I'm not great at.

New song:
In The Deep by Bird York

Thought you had all the answers
to rest your heart upon
but something happens
don't see it coming, now
you can't stop yourself
now you're out there swimming
in the deep

Life keeps tumbling you heart in circles
till you let go
till you shed your pride and you climb to heaven
and you throw yourself off
now you're out there spinning in the deep

Great lyrics I think. Hit's close to home.

Word of the day:
5. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

Sis/bro pic... +15!

Photo: jbrandick

Oscars and music...

It was the Oscars tonight!! YAY!! Something I love to watch every year, sometimes it disappoints to no end but tonight was a success. Jon Stewart did a great job hosting I thought, very funny! :) There is only one award I didn't agree with and that was the winner for Original Song - It's Hard Out There For A Pimp. Really? You thought this was the right one? No. No. No. That is all I can say. So happy to see March of the Penguins win - fabulous movie, if you have seen it you should! Best Original Score going to Gustavo Santaolalla for Brokeback Mountain, as well Best Director to Ang Lee was fantastic!! I was sorry to see a few spots go unnoticed for this film but I will survive:) Best Actress to Reese Witherspoon and Best Actor to Phillip Seymour Hoffman was awesome! He is amazing and she is just so darn cute! And Best Picture. Ok...wait for it...Crash. Paul Haggis and Cathy Shulman. Guess what?!? Paul Haggis is CANADIAN!!! GO CANADA!!! :) A great way to end the weekend, watching the Oscars with friends and seeing the awards go to those that deserve it, minus Original Song, but I will get over it soon...

While walking home I was listening to my iPod and thinking about tomorrow. A great song came on and reminded me of something. Matthew Good is good for that. He is calming, and he helps me think and more importantly he quite often helps me focus. "Can't fear fear, fear's the mind killer." I have to go in and not worry, focus on the now. Don't worry, don't be scared. Just do what I have to do.

Word of the day (hehe - we all do this one!):
4. ELBONICS (el bon'iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.

PJ Day!

Well...today was a PJ day. I didn't leave the house and I stayed in my PJ's all day. It was great! I generally like to be busy all the time, with plans and people to meet. But today I thought I would just veg out at home. I watched TV, read, talked to a few friends and had the opportunity to think about a conversation I had last night, gave me some piece of mind. The end to a great day is a fabulous movie...Pretty in Pink. Finishing off the day with Ducky is great! So for now - I am off to join Andie, Blane, Steff, Iona and Ducky:) She drives a great car and the dance in the record shop is about to start...Ducky dancing and singing along to Try A Little Tenderness - so awesome!

Word of the day:
3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of confection (lollipop) you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow 'remove' all the germs.

Another picture that my brother and I took...I don't know why I like this picture - must be the car;)

Photo: jbrandick

Blind Boys of Alabama

I went to a great concert tonight. The Blind Boys of Alabama. It was so fun. These guys have a ton of energy. And one of them in particular was quite funny…poking fun at one of the other members that is a little larger in size saying that “Chicken die so that he may live”. Too funny! Plus the drummer, who is blind, was phenomenal! I forgot how much I enjoy the southern gospel style mixed with some blues. There were people dancing in their seats, clapping, and some call and answer…”Are you feeling gooooood?” “YEAH!” I half expected to hear a “Halleluiah!” or an “Amen!” :)

There was one song that reminded me of Centre Street, and it sure did make me miss them all there. Miss the playing, miss the singing! I’m so glad I got the opportunity to see them live, and feel the feeling that filled the room. It’s hard to describe something like this…I think you have to actually be there and feel it. If you get a chance, check them out.

And thus begins the three concert month...one concert down, two more to go this month! :)

Crazy day...

Wow – this has been a bit of a crazy day! The small fun thing is that for the second day in a row I won a free coffee from Tim Horton’s Rrroll Up The Rim To Win contest!! Woohoo!!! Very exciting…and here is, for a little fun, how to properly roll up the rim so that you can win, like me;)


Second piece of news is big. For me anyway. Sadly I can’t really talk about it here…I would love to, and if you would like to know we can take it off here. But let me say this: it’s a biggie. This would change a lot of things. This would make for one crazy year! But first – I have to get through the first step. Then the next…but still. I made it to the first step. In all honesty I really did think that this was a long shot, more than that, I didn’t really think they would take me seriously. I made it though…wow. I did it. I know that at this point it's a small thing really - but quite exciting for me anyway:)

So I ask that you all say a little prayer, send a little hope, make a wish on a star for me, whatever you are most comfortable with.

Word #2:
CARPERPETUATION (kar'pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

Photo's and a Collection of Words...

Just a quick note to tell you that the wedding pictures are posted, as well as a few from a couple weekends ago when a bunch of us went bowling for Jesse's birthday! - hope you like, let me know:)

I think for the posts to come, including today, I'm going to post a picture of the downtown core...some pictures my brother and I took over the weekend. Hope you like those too!!

And to start a short list...words that don't exist but should:
1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.

Photo: jbrandick